PURPOSE DRIVEN CROSS GENDER RELATIONSHIPS
Clayton Kiluhura

Introduction
One of the challenges that face young people today has to do with cross gender relationships. Many times strong Christians go down due to their inability to handle relationships. It is unfortunate that some Christians have chosen to either demonize or imitate the world when it comes to cross gender relationships. There are many things to say about relationships but today my task will be to help you have purpose driven cross gender relationships as Christians. mature wedding dresses

Stages of a relationship
i. Friendship - a relationship between friends; while a friend is a person you know well and like, and who is not usually a member of your family
- It is paramount to have a relationship that emanates from a deep and a genuine friendship. It is advised that one marries a friend rather than a stranger. That means that you must take time to invest in genuine friendships which one day can lead to courtship.
ii. Courtship - the time when two people have a love relationship before they get married; the process of developing this relationship
- This period is very important in a relationship for it involves cultivation of love and discovery of the other person but it must be carried out in open and in a godly way. Note that if care is not taken, this is the time when many people tend to lose their heads and even their relationship with God.
iii. Engagement - an agreement to marry somebody; the period during which two people are engaged
- It involves parents from both sides and it is an indication that the relationship is mature to transit to marriage. At this point, wedding plans should commence.
iv. Marriage - the legal relationship between a husband and wife
- It is a permanent commitment that is preceded by a wedding. Note that there is no marriage without a wedding. Be sure of the person you would like to spend your entire life with before marriage. For it is better a broken engagement than divorce. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)

Choosing a partner
i. Seek God about your partner
ii. Develop genuine friendships
iii. Look for complementarity in the following areas: spiritual, purpose,
iv. Avoid relationships with non-believers (2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1)

Conduct in the relationship
i. Set and keep strict boundaries
ii. No sex or any erotic physical contact before marriage (1 Corinthians 6:9-20)
iii. Watch your dressing for the ladies because men are mostly aroused by sight
iv. Watch your language for the men because ladies are mostly aroused by words
v. Have people you are accountable to
vi. Meet in public places and a void secret or closed door meetings
vii. Do not double deal multiple partners
viii. Prayer and bible are critical
ix. Spend quality time together
x. Affirm each other
xi. Exchange gifts that are affordable and within your means.

Marriage triangle
Genesis 2:24

There are three entries to the marriage
i. Wedlock
Mostly traditional way of getting into marriage where the two partners met on the wedding day and the main objective is children
ii. Sex
Mostly liberal / postmodern where the two partners begin with come we stay arrangement/ sexual activity hoping it will lead to love and wedlock later on
iii. Love
Biblical / Christian where love is nurtured and it culminates into wedlock and sex simultaneously. It is the right way to marriage.

Challenges to contend with in a relationship
i. Break ups
ii. Opposition from parents
iii. Sexual sin